Living an Emotionally Intelligent Life | Mindfulness in 5 minutes

Editor’s Note: What is EQ or Emotional Intelligence?

You must have heard of this term, Emotional Intelligence, otherwise known as Emotional Quotient or EQ. So what does it signify? How is our life affected by our mindfulness and emotional quotient? Why should we invest our time and energy to understand ourselves better? Can the practice of mindfulness lead to excellence and help us lead an emotionally intelligent life? Can all this be done in the next 5 minutes? Read on to discover the answers to these questions.

With mindfulness comes awareness

Mindfulness of our thoughts and attention is the first and most important step in our endeavor towards living an emotionally Intelligent Life. We are in control of whatever we are aware of, and we are not in control of whatever we are not aware of. First, we should start by learning about ourselves, and only then should we go further and try to learn about the world around us.

The first and best victory is to conquer self.
Plato

How to live an emotionally intelligent life?

The first stage of living an emotionally intelligent life is to be aware, or mindful, of what is happening inside us, from the start of the day, during the day and till we go to bed. We encounter many different situations and/or people during this period, and each of them generate some emotions within us. We then act or react to these emotions.

When we learn to observe those emotions objectively, by detaching it from ourselves, we have taken the first step in regulating and channelizing them. Hence, we should be mindful of what is in our attention or awareness. We need to ask ourselves whether the emotions, or the cause of feelings, such as anger, regret, anxiety, fear, etc. are in our attention?

How to overcome our emotions?

In order to become more productive, and eliminate these negative emotions, we should focus on our behavior or the task at hand, irrespective of what we are feeling at the moment. This way we can, in a subtle manner, divert our attention from negativity to productivity. And, the more we are able to do this, the more control we will have on our emotions.

Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.
Gautama Buddha

Related Read: Locus of Control

How do our emotions shape our responses?

Here are a couple of instances of how our emotions can drive our thinking and response, and how these patterns can influence the outcomes of our lives.

Scenario 1

Yesterday, I made a big mistake which led to a big mess in the office. Key stakeholders got affected due to this and complained to the management. My boss scolded me, and I scolded my team. Consequently, my team felt down and out. I went home and scolded my kids and did not speak to my spouse. I was feeling miserable, hopeless, helpless and completely drained. I was unable to sleep and when I got up, my head was heavy. I don’t feel like going to office and I do not want to face the world!

Scenario 2

Yesterday, I lost my temper to a colleague of mine due to reasons that are completely justifiable, according to me. I am feeling I did the right thing by teaching him a lesson. I have taken revenge of all the mistreatment he meted out to me earlier. But, I am not feeling good inside me.

I am feeling that I have overreacted because of my uncontrollable anger and frustration. My action has caused hurt to my colleague. He may be wrong in doing whatever he did, but I too did not do the right thing by reacting, instead of responding. Anger hurts both, the doer and the receiver. It is like a fire that burns everyone. I am burning.

Related Read: 7 Steps to Dealing with Adversity

Becoming Emotionally Intelligent

Aren’t these scenarios common in our day to day living? Don’t we feel helpless when encountered with situations and feelings like these?

However, irrespective of whatever we may have done yesterday; whatever emotions may have overpowered us yesterday; and whatever we felt like yesterday; we always have a chance today to repair, regain and recoup.

Today, we are born again.

Our actions today are what will matter most to us, and these will manifest our life today. Hence, we must be mindful of our actions today. Thinking of the past and/or pondering about the future will only prevent us from taking the right action today.

Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a GIFT. That’s why it’s called the present.
Bil Keane

Expert views on living in the moment

David Reynolds writes in his book Constructive Living that we must focus on living today by focusing our attention on the work at hand. We need to complete our tasks in the best possible manner, irrespective of what we are feeling inside. What we feel is not in our control; but what we do, how we act, and how we behave today is completely in our control, and that is the crux of constructive living.

Tom Peters, author of several books on excellence, has given a very powerful concept on how to live today fully by focusing our attention on the next 5 minutes. He says: “Think small”. Do something super cool by the end of the day! Instead of aspiring for our grand future and big dreams or pondering and analyzing what happened in the past, we should rather focus on the next five minutes to achieve excellence.

Related Read: How to stay positive and productive

Mindfulness in the next 5 minutes

And, on that note, irrespective of our circumstances, and how we are feeling, let us stay in the moment for next five minutes

– Whenever you down and out,
– Whenever you are in a loop of procrastination
– Whenever you are burning inside
– Whenever you are engulfed with regret and guilt
– Whenever you are fearful
– Whenever you are doubtful
– Whenever you feel helpless and powerless

Just focus your attention on living your life fully in the next moment, for the next 5 minutes!

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Aseem Tripathi Emotional Intelligence From The Experts Mouth - From The Experts Mouth — Aseem Tripathi

About The Author

Aseem Tripathi aims to positively influence lives of large number of people and help them by way making them realize their inner potential transcending their weaknesses. His professional goal is to enable human systems (organizations, institutions, community etc.) and its people in optimizing their capabilities so that they can strike a balance that is mutually
meaningful, rewarding and wholesome.

He wants to make such a substantial difference in the area of his work that is beneficial for organizations, its people and society at large. Aseem feels that his professional journey must make him progress in his personal quest.