Energy Suckers: Handling The Drain Game
The Drain Game – You are getting played!
Have you ever felt your energy drain out in the company of some people – the energy suckers? Are you familiar with the feeling of all your enthusiasm, your thoughts, ideas and sense of fun getting sapped out whenever you are with them? Or, that all they are interested in, is to get you to do their bidding and disappear when you ask them to return favours! Sometimes they make you feel that whatever is happening is all your fault, including their own manipulative behaviour. A lot of politics and drain games are played by the energy suckers, especially with women. Their main motive is to somehow trick you, and trap you into their vicious grip.
Let us understand the drain game of energy suckers and learn some techniques to handle them.
Why do people spread negativity?
People are like magnets, except that similar poles attract!
Like begets like.
Like attracts like too.
This is because like seeks like, to validate and justify itself. In our day to day life, we observe that happy people attract the company of happy people, thereby spreading around happiness. On the other hand, toxic energy suckers seek the company of sad and miserable people, spreading negativity.
Man is a social animal
Most of us hate being alone. We all seek company. Lonely people try to break up your relationships to render you lonely too. Unhappy people dominate others to change them around to their own dispensation of being sad, miserable, hurt etc. They do so mostly to shun working on themselves, avoiding the effort and time required to transform themselves to become happier and better people.
They love to play victim and swim in their tank of miseries and sadness. Unhappy energy suckers want to drag you into the same state of misery, that they like to dwell in.
Such people are afraid of being left alone and being left behind. They are uncomfortable when they see other people making the effort and succeeding in transforming – themselves, their family, their community, their nation and humanity.
How to recognize the Drain Game of Energy Suckers?
The main motive of such energy sucking, highly negative and toxic people is to drain you of all your strength, and manipulate you into doing what they want, and to inhibit your growth. Some of the many tactics adopted by them include creating self doubt, criticism, mental bullying, humiliating, physical abuse, belittling, disrespecting, blaming you etc.
At the work place, this may take the form of pressurizing you through putting you under duress, over burdening you with unnecessary work, making you work over extended period of time everyday, blackmailing, playing tactics and in extreme cases, coercing you to do illegal things.
When you let it get personal, the cost becomes personal too.
Michael Marshall Smith
How to check if you are being played in this Drain Game?
Here are some simple questions to ask yourself to figure out if you are getting played in this drain game :
- Do you feel that you are always under a lens and being judged?
- Do you feel manipulated?
- Do you feel that someone is controlling and wants to isolate you from others?
- Do you think you are the one apologizing every time?
- Do you need to justify yourself all the time?
- Do you feel starved and dominated upon in the relationship?
- Do you enjoy the space to be yourself freely or do you need to get defensive repeatedly?
- Do you find this person’s company useful and helpful?
- Do you seek their company because you have no one else to turn to or because you enjoy yourself with them?
Answering these simple questions honestly and evaluating them will give you a good idea of the kind of company you surround yourself with.
As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy – and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.
Travis Bradberry
Should you be wary of the energy suckers?
The people we surround ourselves with, and with whom we interact frequently, influence our:
- Thoughts
- Beliefs
- Outlook
- Attitude
- Behaviour
- Actions; and
- Growth
In the company of toxic people, before you know it, not only do you cease to exist as a person having your own individuality, but you may also become a toxic person yourself. This is in addition to the mental and physical strain you undergo being in such company, harming your health and well-being. You would constantly be in a state of heightened stress, lacking happiness and also have a lowered immunity.
People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.
Hans F. Hasen
Handling the energy suckers
Only you can help yourself to break free from the trap laid by the energy vampires. The most important thing to remember is that such people feed on the energy of your fear and meekness. Do not submit to their unfair demands, and stand up for yourself. This would be irrespective of the fact that everyone else may have formed an opinion of you based on the loose talks and lies spread about you by the perpetrator.
In the work environment, if you have performed more than expected and are being harmed mentally, think hard and analyse if it is due to an energy sucker who needs to be dealt with.
Easy strategies to free yourself from energy suckers
Do not let anyone use you to a point where it hurts you. Stand up for yourself, see the red flags and voice your concerns, and take help from people you trust.
Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go.
Denisse Lisseth
Self-respect is more important than anything else in this world. You will find another friend or relationship or job etc. You will also surround yourself with good people, provided you take some steps to get yourself out of this messy situation. Inaction on your part, though, may lead to you losing your self-respect and may result in a prolonged suffering.
You tend to become like the people you spend the most time with. Spend time with happy, conscious people. If you are regularly frustrated with a friend, consider the idea of letting go of this toxic relationship. Spend time with people who make you happy and wanted. Spend time in the company of people with whom you see growth and progress. If you don’t have such friends, maybe it’s time to make new friends.
Keeping bad company is like being in a germ-infested area. You never know what you’ll catch.
Frank Sonnenberg
As a rule, try not to take things personally. This is especially applicable when dealing with energy sucking toxic people.
Handle such relationships by savoring them from a distance. If you find someone who makes you feel inferior by their insensitivity or close-mindedness, then quickly take action and spend less time in such company.
Learn to celebrate the journey of life. Happy people spread happiness and joy. And hence it is always advised to keep the company of happy people. The world wants to be around happy people. We are all seeking happiness and bliss. The universe too celebrates that which is already being celebrated.
About The Author
Crispy Maheshwari is the founder of FTEM (From The Experts’ Mouth).
She is very creative and multi-talented. She likes to write, paint and craft. Crispy loves to network, motivate people, teach and spread positivity.
Some of her work has been published in leading national newspaper, International Literary Journals and has also been translated to other languages.
Crispy is also the Editor at FTEM. She graduated from Lady Shri Ram College for Women, University of Delhi and has dual professional qualifications – Chartered Accountant and Lawyer (Faculty of Law, University of Delhi).