In Loving Memory: A Dream To Achieve Closure

Editor’s Note: Losing A Loved One

It is never easy to lose someone. But, there is something that is even more difficult. It is coming to terms with the loss and achieving closure. In this piece, Nirmali Prabha Das expresses the emotions that are buried in her heart, in loving memory of her friend who passed away suddenly and she could not even say goodbye. A sudden dream helped her achieve closure and accept the loss. Her introspection provides us with food for thought to manage our relationships with our loved ones, particularly as the pandemic has yet again demonstrated the unpredictability of life.

In Loving Memory

The sun was shining bright on my face but my heart was gloomy as I slowly opened my eyes. I looked towards the window, the sun rays made the curtains shine and I sighed, as I was back to reality. If I knew it was just a dream I would have continued to sleep. But when has man been able to control dreams! I couldn’t go back to sleep so I kept laying in the bed wondering about the dream I just had. Have I been rummaging through the past? I have been feeling lost the last couple of days obviously but I had no idea I have been reminiscing the memories without my knowledge. The mind always plays this sort of game!

My friend’s mom had just passed away and I have been feeling low. The thought of losing a mother has been killing me. I feel for my friend and we all understand that it will take time to move on from such a loss. But it isn’t only that. I realize it now, my thoughts have been making a scene up there in my mind.

Hence the dream!!

If only my mind had given me the liberty to take part in the play! I would not have been so surprised by the sudden dream. The outcome, however, I am overjoyed with it. I am glad I saw you. It has been two years since you left us. It came as a shock to everyone when the news of your passing was endowed upon us. Losing someone at such a young age! I can’t imagine the pain it must have caused everyone. It has been tough for me to even accept it since I got the news. I have missed you more than I had assumed I would. Else why would I have suddenly dreamt about you! It aches my heart to even mention this. The only reason I am acknowledging it is because I believe my subconscious mind has been wanting to talk to you. It is however an oblivious presumption.

I still remember clearly when you left us. I was stunned for a moment when I got the text. I am sure my heart skipped a beat. I felt uneasy and condemned myself for avoiding you all these years. I felt so lost that I even left messages for you, but it obviously didn’t make things better. I could have been a better friend. I wanted one chance to talk with you which was of course not possible in this universe. What was I thinking!

Related Read: My Grandparents: In Loving Memory

A Time For Reflection

I do this a lot. I suddenly block people from my life without giving them any notice, any reason. And not for a day or two, but many many years. I feel the need to decide on behalf of everyone. What’s the point of justifying myself at this point! I lost you already. If only man had the power to know when one will leave this earthly world! If only one could assume the future! I certainly would have picked the pieces and made the friendship whole again. But now I have no option but to solemnly accept your absence.

Therefore, I will be forever indebted to you that you came to my dream. It lifted a burden that has long been a turmoil. I can only believe that you were watching over me from beyond this dimension and you wanted to free me from the peril your absence has been causing me. I thought I was moving on slowly from this loss but I guess I was wrong.

Related Read: Gratitude, Practicing Gratitude

The Dream To Achieve Closure

In the dream, I saw you sitting on the edge of a vast field, where the earth met the skies. I looked at you trying to convince myself that it is real. When you summoned me, I ran towards you as though catching the last train. I was feeling breathless, still didn’t stop and when I reached you, your smile which was so pure gave me strength. I sat down by your side and I apologized for not speaking all these years. We spoke for a while about your family. I felt contended that I could tell you we will always be friends forever and that I miss you so terribly. I was trying to hold on to our conversation when you started fading away and I felt blue again because I was back in this divine existence.

Sam, thank you for giving me closure and making it easier for me to move on. Don’t worry now, your family will be okay. I will be okay, and all your friends will be okay.

We will of course always mourn your absence, but our heart is at peace because we believe you are in a better place. Please forgive me, I couldn’t help but write this tribute.

Two beautiful souls left us for heavenly abode.

It is a promise, you will never be forgotten.

Yours truly

About The Author

Nirmali Prabha Das has completed her studies in Chemistry and has a doctorate degree from IIT Guwahati. She has an innate passion for writing and her journey as a writer started two months back and she has already written around 50 articles.

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