In Loving Memory of Grandparents

Executive Summary: In Loving Memory of Grandparents

In the financial world, it is often said that the interest is loved more than the principal. This saying is also used to denote the special bond between grandparents and their grand-children, often surpassing the relationship that our parents have, with either their immediate ascendants or descendants. Against this backdrop, Bornali Das, writes a tribute in loving memory of her grandparents. So, let us follow the trail, starting with her background – about her parents and her upbringing.

Related Read: Caring for elders in society

The Background: A Cocktail

I’m what they often refer to as a cocktail. My father is a member of the Assamese community, hailing from the the north-eastern Indian state of Assam, while my mother comes from the Ukhrul district in Manipur, India, and is a member of the Tangkhul Naga, a major ethnic group of the distinguished Mongolian race. The inhabitants of Assam comprises of a wide range of ethnicity and racial fusion, inclusive of the Indo-Aryan, Indo-Burmese, and Mongolian.

My father belongs to the native group who are referred to as ”Axomiya”, or simply ”Assamese”, and are descendants of the Indo-Aryan race. The two communities are diverse from each other in their culture, tradition, language and religion, with the former believing in Hinduism, and the latter practising Christianity. It’s apparent how their genes differ, hence a cocktail.

Childhood Memories with Maternal Grandparents

I, and all my siblings were born in my mother’s hometown in Ukhrul, our earliest memories are filled with the natural allure of the gorgeous town, filled with mountains, hills, and forests. But, most of all, our stay there is memorable for we had lovely grandparents.

My father had at some point decided to relocate us to his homeland in Assam. Nevertheless, our birthplace remains special. For a while now, I have wanted to write a piece in memory of my birthplace, the things I can speak about it are in abundance. However, it seemed most appropriate to begin with a reminiscence of my maternal grandparents, the two people who have influenced my life in an immensely magnificent way.

I had to travel deep into my consciousness to recollect the memories, for ample passage of time had overwritten some of the figments. I, therefore, will only elaborate two incidents that stand out very clear to me, hoping that I can do justice to them.

Gratitude for My Magical Maternal Grandfather

Our maternal grandfather, a medical practitioner, was one of the gentlest and most compassionate human beings I have ever had the good fortune to know. He was a healer, not only of the human body, for his kindness had the power to heal hearts. I recall an ear infection I’d suffered when I was little. I had attempted to insert a chicken feather into the tiny ear piercing I had, which I now acknowledge as my dumbest move ever. I stand fully accountable for the agony I had to endure for a long time thenceforth.

The infection had quickly spread over my entire left ear, persisting for a whole year. I’d almost abandoned any hope of recovering entirely, the threat of losing part of my left ear often leaving me dejected. All the while, my grandfather never left my side, silently supporting me and lifting my spirit.

I always believed that he must have had magical hands, because I never experienced even a tiny amount of pain when he was treating my wounds. If it were not for my grandfather, I’d be disfigured today. He treated me and made me whole again. I will forever be indebted to him for his graciousness.

My Incomparable Incredible Grandmother

Our maternal grandmother was an incredible woman. My mother, and all her siblings, as wonderful as they are, will remain incomparable to her. I hold the opinion that every goodness in me is a reflection of her. And if I bear any shortcomings, then it is because I couldn’t learn enough from her.

Grandmother, with all her glorious endowments, was adorable, but my sister and I used to be proudest of her perfect teeth. She possessed the most impeccable set of teeth, perfectly aligned and pure white. Our admiration for them accompanied by our hopefulness that genetics would be kind enough to grace us with some of her perfection.

Related Read: A Grandmother turned Entrepreneur

An Incident to Remember

What I’m about to recount now happened during one of her visits. As always we were brimming with excitement, we hadn’t seen her for almost two years. This incident that took place during this particular visit, I can only describe as one of the most gobsmacked moments of my life. One night after dinner, she left to brush her teeth. My sister and I followed her later.

To our horror, we found her brushing her teeth, which she was holding in her hands. Her teeth weren’t even real. Needless to say, it was a complete surprise. In all those years, we had never encountered her without these fake teeth. If I remember well, my sister and I had the greatest laugh, over our ridiculousness of course. To our grandma’s credit, she still had some very nice looking teeth attached to her jaws. After all, we can’t complain to genetics for not being generous enough to us.

The Last Visit

Never did it occur to us that this would be our grandma’s last visit, and we will never see her again. I have no clue how having the knowledge would have changed anything then, but I would for sure have taken my time to thank her, for all the things that she’d done for us, and for being the greatest grandma ever.

Grandma passed away on a Saturday, we came back from school to find our mother crying, and our father delivered the news of her passing. That was my first experience with losing someone dear to me, it was a first tragic incident.

Over time our memories faded, but never the sentiments. I recall a dream I had dreamt about my grandmother some time ago. I was wandering the streets of Ukhrul, navigating aimlessly with no place to be, that was when I saw her. I approached her as a sense of calmness overcame me, which I hadn’t felt in a long time, and asked her if she could take me along with her. Grandma replied that she lived very far away and I was not ready to accompany her.

Nothing much can be recalled onwards, but am glad to have envisaged my grandmother. Even in the dream, she was as marvelous as ever, and I rejoice in it.

The Eternal Relationship

Not long after, grandfather too passed away. It was foreseeable that life wouldn’t be the same for him after grandma’s passing. They were soulmates, their devotion towards each other an epitome of everlasting love. Often, I would hear how he would visit grandma’s grave, and sit there for hours mourning.

During my first year of graduation, we received news of our grandfather being gravely ill. I along with my mother set out for my mother’s hometown to pay our final visit to grandpa. It must have been the most unfortunate of moments when we arrived there to hear that he’d passed away in the morning.

My mother didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, nor did I. As I watched him lying on his deathbed, the man I admire the most, shrunken to a mere skeletal, I imagined it was with kindness that death came upon him.

Eternally Blessed by my Grandparents

I consider myself affluent to have the memories of the beautiful bond I shared with my maternal grandparents. Their affection is one of the purest form of love, a manna from heaven. I often contemplate on all the good fortune that the universe has glorified me with, and my grandparents take the forefront, eternally reminding me to count my blessings every single moment.

More from Bornali Das:

In the Glorification of Friendship Lost– is a piece about a friendship she experienced that left a lifelong impact on her soul, even though it existed for a very short time.
A Witness to My Changing Self: Introspection Of The Journey of Life – a brief insight into how experiencing life through a spectrum of changes has led her to gaining wisdom.
The Call of the Peaks: Hiking the Tatra Mountains – is a homage to one of the marvels of nature and the deep insight gained in scaling the peak of the Tatra Mountains

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About The Author

Bornali Das is a PhD student in Mathematics, from the University of Szeged, Hungary. She believes writing is a means of building bridges between souls, and this is what she attempts to do by sharing these pieces, that are in some way related to her individuality.