Gitanjali Rao and The Curious Case of Comments

I am sure your social media feed has been abuzz with the news of Gitanjali Rao, 15, being recognized as the TIME Kid of the Year. So, I visited YouTube to check out the official video of the TIME magazine. Needless to mention, her story is inspiring and I scrolled down, hoping to continue on this awesome journey. However, the comments on YouTube are a sad reflection of how society reacts to such achievements. This may have piqued your curiosity. So, here are my views on the curious case of comments on YouTube.

As I read through the comments, other than a few congratulatory comments, most of the other comments did not share the well meaning intent. I could see the pattern that emerged from a majority of the comments. I literally had to go back and see the video once again to ensure that I left the channel with a good after taste.

So, I thought of sharing my observations about our collective behaviors and mindsets. I have classified the comments into 5 categories. These are behavioral or cognitive traps that one should avoid. Further, these can be abstracted to infer 5 things that we should not be doing. Once I went back to watching the video again, I also changed the paradigm and thought of 5 things that I feel we all should take away from this episode. But, I will come back to that later in this post.

5 Lessons Learnt from the Curious Case of Comments

At the time of writing this article, there are over 750 comments (10th Dec 2020), but even if you scroll through some of them, you will get the picture. But, why bother? These will not add much value and are sadly, completely out of context. The first comment displayed has over 1000 likes and says “Oh no! More stress for Indian kids” and you can imagine how such conversations can completely puncture your enthusiasm.

So, here is my own ‘biased’ view of the genres of comments and what is possibly wrong with this mindset.

#1 – Indian or American or Indo-American

We seem to be obsessed with debates around the Indian vs American component. There are many examples of this, as there are examples of NRIs doing well in North America and in other parts of the world. Ok, there is nothing wrong with the debate per-se, but when this debate becomes the focal point of the conversation, something is really off. The YouTube algorithm only reflects the mindset of the viewers, when more and more people join such debates. No points for guessing that such comments, that divert attention from the core agenda, appear on top!

My View – There is universal agreement that the rise of nationalism, xenophobia and anti-globalization is not beneficial for the world. Yet, there is almost universal display of such sentiments. Can we be global citizens and, particularly as Indians, can we embrace our age old philosophy of the whole world being a global village?

#2 – Stereotyping Indian Parents

Our other favorite seems to be stereotyping Indian parents. Guys, the world has moved on and so has parenting! The generation gap will always continue to exist and will be directly correlated with the pace of change. However, the stereotypes expressed show only one thing. It is that the minds of some people are clearly frozen in their past, probably as a result of their childhood experiences. But, let me not second guess the reasons and reinforce more stereotypes! Maybe, these comments are in jest or the viewers don’t literally mean what they write. It is just a harmless part of the popular language. But, it is so relatable, as is evident from the hundreds of likes to such relatable comments.

However, that is precisely the danger. Repeating the same thing only reinforces the neural pathways. It does not help to create new, positive and empowering belief systems! It is actually even worse if we don’t mean something negative and still unwittingly allow it to become a part of our being!

My View – Some stereotypes and belief systems are so hard-wired that it is difficult to rewrite our neural circuitry. However, this is not impossible. We need affirmations, which when repeated, will help us come to terms with the new order. The future we create for ourselves, is all in our hands. We can also say that the future is in the language that we use, consciously or sub-consciously. Or, in our minds, if you will!

#3 – Rich Dad Poor Dad

I don’t know anything about Gitanjali Rao’s parents and in fact, I did not even attempt to find out more about their background. But, it is appalling that her success is being attributed to the supposed economic well being and network of her parents. Inferences are made from her choice of hobbies, her love for travel and access to scientific equipment. Are we seriously going to fault her for that?

My View – In the Information age, knowledge is your biggest asset. With the democratization of information on the internet, these rants do not belong in today’s world. As the age old saying goes, where there is a will, there is a way. Instead of ‘complaining’ about her access to resources, can we shift the focus to how (or whether) we have made good use of our resources?

#4 – She vs Me

This also provides a nice segue to the fourth category of comments, that appear to be most prolific. I see that a lot of people have fallen into the comparison trap and comparing their past or present selves with the achievements of Gitanjali Rao. The typical comments are on the lines of…

When I was her age, I was …..

She has done so much at 15 and I have not done much, even at my age….

Some have painted imaginary scenarios and remark that they are “feeling bad for her (Gitanjali’s) cousins”!

These remarks reflect the deep seated malady of comparisons that appear to be common place in our society. Unfortunately, such comparisons are neither fair nor necessary. It is great if we are able to draw inspiration from other people’s achievements and learn a few things from their experiences. However, self flagellation in the name of comparison is a futile exercise.

My View – Remember, we all are cut out differently and have our own life paths. There is no point in comparing yourself with anyone else. Similarly, there is no point comparing her with your kids or with anyone else for that matter. There is only one comparison that matters – You vs You version 2.0. So, why don’t you start with an action plan for creating a better version of yourself?

#5 – Self Pity, Insecurity, Depression and more

The malaise of comparison doesn’t just end there. The negative emotions have led to people claiming in the comments that they are “depressed” and “feeling insecure”. It is really sad that this is the outcome of such inspirational stories! Undoubtedly, many of us are living through the toughest times of our lifetime. But, where is this one coming from? Why is our sense of self-worth dependent on somebody else’s achievements?

My View – We need to be self assured and our locus of control needs to be internal. We cannot allow external factors to drive us. It is like saying that I am depressed because I cannot play football like Diego Maradona (may his soul rest in peace) or play cricket like Sachin Tendulkar. Should we not enjoy the beauty of their game and learn a lesson or two from them that can make our own lives better?

Finally, here is the good news. We can completely control our reactions and how we perceive something. Reality is not shaped solely by the events around us, but created by our own interpretation of these stories.

Changing The Narrative of the Curious Case of Comments

So, let us see how we can change the narrative and look at 5 things that we can take away from Gitanjali Rao’s journey.

#1 – Curiosity….it’s up there

Gitanjali Rao’s opening line and our title contain one of the most under rated words in the dictionary of our lives – Curiosity! Her opening line in the video is “I am a very curious person, if that’s one thing you need to know about me”. And, that is what typically differentiates achievers from the hoi polloi. The educational system in a lot of places does a terrible job of systematically quelling our innate curiosity. It is incumbent upon us to pick up the fragments of curiosity that we lost along the way and build up this natural skill once again.

Interestingly, someone asked me the other day about the target audience for this platform, From The Experts’ Mouth (FTEM). My one phrase answer was that we are looking at curious minds. Now, I leave it up to you to imagine the transformational consequences if you arouse your curiosity!

#2 – Diversity of Exposure

While we are still on the FTEM platform, the other thing that resonates completely with our approach is multi-disciplinary interests and connecting the dots. It is quite intriguing to see that the short 3 minute video captures so many diverse interests of the TIME Kid of the Year.

We always have something to learn from our experiences and we don’t know how the dots will connect later in our lives. The event could be Gitanjali Rao finishing a Chemistry kit in one day at the age of four or five and building a device to test for lead contamination in water. Or, Steve Jobs dropping out of college and dropping in on a calligraphy class and later creating beautiful fonts for personal computers.

The moot point is that these dots will connect at a later stage in life and we can never predict when we are passing through that stage, or traversing those dots. So, just be curious and keep adding to your collection of dots. They will connect later and create something magical!

#3 – The Myth of the magical Eureka

Magic, leads me on to the next pointer, which is the myth of the magical Eureka moment. The legend of Archimedes and the Eureka moment has been repeated far too often. Like many other legends, it is probably not even true. However, that is not the point.

A lot of successful people, especially from the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) fields, have emphasized that inventions and innovations are an ongoing journey. They typically do not happen in a moment, but are the result of arduous efforts over extended periods of time. Sure, there may be sudden flashes of realization, but we should not romanticize these moments. Let us not sit under the tree and wait for the apple to teach us lessons of gravity. Instead, we can focus on building our repertoire of knowledge and skills and working towards our goals.

#4 – BHAG

Speaking of goals, I am reminded of a phrase that I have picked up in my corporate life. Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAG), is a term coined in the book Built To Last by James Collins. It is inspiring to see kids of today’s generation aspiring to change the world. Gitanjali Rao and Greta Thunberg may have become torch bearers, but there are many others, who share similarly audacious goals. Certainly, there is a lot that needs to be changed and if the vision is big enough, it gives enough space for a lot of people to join the movement.

#5 – Enjoy

If you find these big hairy objects scary, then here is some solace. If you associate with things you truly enjoy, then the journey can be immensely joyous. And in fact, the journey itself will give you more pleasure than the destination. Have you ever been immersed in something so deeply that you seem to be in the “Flow” and have a sense of inner satisfaction, even when you are working like crazy? On the other hand, have you found certain tasks a drudgery that bore you to death?

It is not necessary that your calling is the same as Gitanjali Rao. Then, why should you compare yourself with her? Pursue your passion, interest or agenda….but be sure to be doing what you enjoy and be happy that you are doing what you enjoy!

Migrating to YOU version 2.0

I hope I have been able to put my message across. And no, I am not talking merely about how we should respond with our comments on YouTube or social media. The deeper point is about how our reactions, when repeated over time, become hard wired into our personality. It is not easy to change overnight, but you can make a start. Even if this is not the Eureka moment, it can be one of the moments that inspires you in your journey of migrating to YOU version 2.0.

About The Author

Rajiv Maheshwari is a business and start-up advisor, and the co-founder of From The Experts Mouth. He is a management professional with over 25 years of experience, and worked as CEO for a decade, and in leadership roles with NYSE listed companies such as Accenture and WNS.

He is a Chartered Accountant and MBA (Director’s Merit List from IIM Bangalore) and an autodidact, who is on the path of self-directed life long learning and sharing. He is a thought leader, author and keynote speaker and has developed several frameworks to bridge the gap between academia and industry.